Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
