weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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