Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
