my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
