Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
