Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
