Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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