Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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