I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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