I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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