Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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