I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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