I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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