I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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