Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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