shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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