Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
