the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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