The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
