i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Alive.
So much puke
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
