Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Vodka?
Forever.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
