I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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