____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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