Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
