I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
