tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
