...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
