whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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