I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
