If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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