no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
