Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
