Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
