Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
