yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize