This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
