Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
