I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
