Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
