So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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