That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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