They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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