My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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