Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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