also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
