clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This is the high leading the old right now
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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