he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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