she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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