Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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