I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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