Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
