So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
