Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
