Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
