Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
