Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I need water and some morals
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
