I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
