wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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